Hose

When A Crisis Causes A Crisis

October 7th, 2019

When an organisation that specialises in causing crises, has a crisis itself, it can lead to what the Germans call schadenfreude

Las week was a bad week for hoses – they’re causing all sorts of crises.

First up: Extinction Rebellion, who filled a fire engine (£5,000 on eBay – bargain) with a red liquid (all environmentally friendly stuff, like beetroot), their plan being to spray the building of the British Treasury with its high-power hose.

Now, when you see a movie with fire fighters, you will always see two people, generally burly chaps – holding the hose. These things have high pressures, and, like supermarket trollies, have minds of their own.

The poor activists totally underestimated the power of the beast, and it leapt out of their hands like a wounded rattlesnake – proceeding to spray liquid on its handlers.

The scene as they scurried to try and catch the wriggling serpent is hilarious, (especially when set to the music of British Comedian, the late Benny Hill)! You can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E5vIXAQ8_U&feature=youtu.be .

He used the same music for a film scene in which he chased a troupe of scantily clad models, revelling in the name of Hills’ Angels.

Now, before you start accusing me of being sexist or ‘unwoke’: The Benny Hill Show was broadcast by the totem of political correctness, the BBC.

Next up in the Hose Crisis story. Over in mainland Europe (as we now call it), a lady filled her car with petrol at a filling station. Oooops! It was a diesel car. It can be done – it’s easy.

She was told it would cost a fortune to sort it out. Being a resourceful type, she decided to empty the tank using the hose of the vacuum clearer (the one which forecourts so obligingly provide to clean your car).

After a fair amount of suction, the hose got out of control, entered the car and started a major blaze –  causing tens of thousands of Euros damage. Fortunately no one was seriously injured.

It’s not for me to draw any comparisons between the activities of Extinction Rebellion and this poor misfortunate lady…

Have a good week

Tom

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